Name: Taylor Z. Birthday: Feb 28, 1984 (that makes me 20) Home: Langdon, AB, Canada Hair: Brown Eyes: Brown Height: 5'10" Build: .. almost athletic Likes:
playing music
playing on the computer
The Simpsons
Dislikes:
15 year old stupid people
Sleeping.. waste of time
What to expect: I wouldn't expect much if i were you... I'll just be whining and complaing and ranting.. just expressing my current thoughts. that kinda stuff. I'll even explain some of the stupid, stupid things that I do. Enjoy!
Just so you know, in the little tag box below, the first space is where to put your website's url (should you have one), the second one is your message, and the third is your name.. (from top to bottom).
The highest ever ollie (jump) on a skateboard, off the floor, was over 5 foot.
Foreign Joke of the Week
Two Irishmen, Patrick and Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, “Make the entire ocean Guinness beer!” The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into rich, black porter. Simultaneously, the genie vanished.
Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness, as the two men considered their predicament. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick, whose wish had obviously been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he blurted, “Nice going Patrick! Now we’re going to have to piss in the boat!”
Funny Pic of the Week
Word of the Day
yen YEN, noun: A strong desire or inclination; a longing
Mailman Goes Postal
We all know the hilarious stories of how mailmen are constantly mistreated by dogs. Everyday they’ll walk up to your house, and place your mail in the mailbox, and what reward do they get? A lot of exercise, a taste for fear, and a lot of hatred towards mans best friend. But you can only push a postal work so far, before he himself decides to go postal, and such the case has finally occurred in Dallas, Texas.
Early morning on Tuesday August 12th, Fred Undrum, a US postal worker, was taking his normal route when he noticed a dog starting to chase him. Having had problems with this dog everyday, he knew all too well how frustrating it was to do his job with this constant nuisance. So being a postal worker, he pulled out his gun (which all mailmen carry), fired a shot in the air and started chasing the dog.
It is believed to be the first case of a mailman chasing a dog, and it has the pets’ owners angry. “It’s a dogs’ instinct, and there’s nothing that can be done about it. It’s just something that is expected, and we don’t want to see our animal mistreated in such a fashion.” We asked Undrum why he responded the way he did, and he replied “I’m not sure, to be honest. I don’t really even remember it. I just remember hearing the barking from behind me, and something snapped. I couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t know what I’ll do if it happens again, but it won’t be pretty.”
If you ask us, and I know you didn’t, we here at MMN think postal workers are greatly mistreated. We should treat them with respect and be very grateful to them for bringing us our Christmas cards, and packages, and bills… and bills… and .. ah hell… Who am I kidding? Where’s my spy camera!!?
Yup, it's definitely my longest period without writing a word. Last post was on feb 9.., and I honestly can't remember much that's happened since then. I know I turned 21 on the 28th.. but I can't really recall what I did.. OH .. wait.. Cat 'n fiddle.. that's right, Colin was sure wasted.. But that's in the past.. anything else happen?... Done first year of school.. 3.98 gpa, so yay for me. woohoo.. i'm still not even close to first in my class though.. a minimum of 3 people ahead of me still :P damnit.. oh well. tis damn well good enough. umm when school finished, i worked for the security company for a few weeks.. until i figured otu what i was actually gonna do for the summer. the main objective this summer obviously is making enough money to return to school. so i think i've accomplished that feat now. I quit that shitty job, and make more money being a parts driver for a fabrication shop that equips trailers for big rigs for the oil field.. so it's decent enough.. i do alot of shop hand work, but that's alright, at leats its money. plus i get weekends and evenings off, so that's pretty sweet.. no boss's trying to screw you out of any penny they can, or being retards.. everyone i work with is pretty nice, helpful .. so its a good time. i went camping last weekend.. may long.. weather was.. so so when the sun was showing it was warm, when clouds were there, she was a bit chilly.. and it was really windy. monday i went to high river and saw the parade and such with jamie, then the park for chatage then off to jamie's aunts house in cochrane for a steak bbq, with a quick stop before hand to see carissa at work since she didnt' get to come. and after that car had some problems, but i got her home, and she's all fixed now .. mostly.. needed a new alternator, and that is done.. 300 bucks later.. have somethin else to fix.. i might get around to it.. its just a noise thing. so we'll see how much i care, or if i get annoyed enough to do it. plus i gotta get a couple new tires, one of mine sort of .. blew up without breaking.. not that that makes sense, but since i know what happened.. it does.. i sitll have it.. could probably drive it, but not long. and the tires i have you can't buy here.. and the spare i have isn't made anymore.. so i need whole new tires :P too damned expensive. any ways.. as long as it lasts me through the next school year without any major parts falling off.. which is likely.. then ok. tonight was stampede's spring concert.. i was very impressed. i'm sure its been like this most years.. but since i was in the band, you don't really realize how well its actually going. and for all band people who read this, it looks bloody amazing already. in the middle i was like.. wow, just wait til fanfare, it'll be so clean, especially after doing a competitive circuit in the states.. which by the way i'm quite certain we'll win... so i'm definitely looking forward to stampede this year, no major obligations.. do what i want when i want.. most of which will include the band in some way shape or form. what i really wanna see is stampede parade.. just cuz i haven't been on the outside of it before.. and fanfare.. all of it.. but both are not likely.. i MIGHT be able to pull off one.. preferably fanfare.. but we'll see how it goes. at the very least i'll see finals after work... so yea back to tonight.. i quite enjoyed tonight.. and last night.. last night was adam's going away party.. he's moving to jamaica for two years to teach, which i think is pretty cool.. that was a good time.. hangin around .. free food.. some frisebee with scott and neil.. and some very coconutty jamaican rum... and tonight was good due to spring concert.. the best part of band isn't the music or the visuals.. its the getting to see everybody. i dont' take the time to see anyone often enough.. schedules often conflict which makes it nearly impossible when i DO make the effort.. so band events like this are nice cuz you're guaranteed to see people. like hangin out with carissa is always fun, we're just a couple goof balls.. i find i act stranger than normal when i'm around her.. i'm not sure what it is.. maybe subconsciously i'm trying to impress her in a really stupid way or somethin.. but i can't confirm that.. cu z.. it's subconscious.. hehe .. either way, we have a good time.. and i love seeing amy.. i don't know what it is about her.. i just enjoy hangin out with her.. she's like someone i consider to be really close even though i dont' see her enough.. definitely not as much as i'd like. i think i've only been out with her once just us.. kinda sad and stupid.. can be rectified.. but yea.. there's a few people like that..
anyways.. i don't really have anything more to say, certainly nothing useful.. not that anything was useful.. but at least you know whats been up with me the past few months.. hopefully i'll write one again sooner.. but i honestly can't see anything vitally important happening in the next little while.. not until stampede.. the rest of the summer is just work work work.. but money.. so its good. and thats the end of that chapt
until next time..
What is it about the general unhappiness of your parents with you that creates this guilty feeling inside? It's unlike the relationship you'll have with anyone else. When your parents are down, you're down, and there doesn't seem to be any explanation that's clear to me. But right now is one of those times, and I don't know what I have to do to fix it. Mostly my mom, but my dad I'm sure as well. My dad just gave me the explanation of why my mom's been so down for the past few days, she just won't respond to anything for the most part. Her birthday was Monday, so I gave her a card and the what not, along with my sis and my dad and whoever else did, and she barely made the effort to say thank you, and though she did come out, it was just out of general politeness, not because she was actually thankful she'd received anything, I'm sure. But my dad explained that she's this way now because of extreme stress from work, but mostly from home.
Me and my sis of course causing alot of that, we both have jobs we hate.. need new ones.. and my parents spend alot of time pushing us to do something about it,.. we definitely don't do as much as we could around the house, but I can guarantee anyone that I do try. Although I figure alot of it has to do with my personality and just, the way I am around people, the way I react to certain things.
I know I have some issues, that I'd definitely like to resolve, but I'm really unsure how. A little while back it was brought to my attention from a good friend that I complain too much, and I took note, and I honestly thing I've fixed that for the most part. Of course, everyone will complain about certain things, and so I can't be perfect on that, but for all intensive purposes, it'll do.
Now another problem seems to be that I argue too much. I guess I can't deny it really, but when I think about it, there are only certain times I'll argue, and with certain people. Anything that I have a strong opinion about, or strong thoughts on, I'll argue to the death and noone will ever convince me otherwise without specific proof. Doesn't matter who that is. But there are other times when I really shouldn't say anything because it's not a big deal, but for some reason, at the time, I don't see it that way, and I do make a big deal out of it.
Ie.. on the weekend, after my dad finished laying down the hardwoods in our house, with my boss as an assistant.. damnit.., my boss suggested I should take the tool they used back to the hardware store the next morning since I was working that day anyways. Somehow I took that personally and assumed my boss was just trying to be an ass the way he always is. Apparently that was a mistake, and I got in a bit of an argument with my mom about it. I was willing to go do it anyways, but the fact that I argued why I was doing it caused problems I couldn't have forseen at the time, but should've.
And so it's just little things like that, and I wish I could stop, but I honestly don't know how. I need someone to be beside me all day and say 'Shut up, you're doing it again' because when the times comes, I won't notice it. Eventually I'll learn, will some help, but until then I don't know what to do.. I can't just avoid talking all together, but at the same time, if I don't make certain things known, I'll be living my life just doing what others tell me to do, and my own personal character can't handle that. I won't do things if I think someone else is just being lazy, I'll just to conclusions at times, I'll argue with someone whether I know they're right or not, depending on how they portray their thoughts on it.
I want to stop, please help me stop. I can't do it on my own.
Other problems include what appears to be general laziness on my part. From their perspective, sometimes they'll come home, the kitchen will be a mess, stuff should've been done that hasn't been done. And no doubt, my sister is as guilty as me for that, and they recognize it. But they don't see the whole story, just as I'm sure I don't see their side of it. They know what it's like to relax when they need to, to have time off, be free to do whatever, go enjoy good times with friends, well, I don't share that with them. If someone asked me what it's like to enjoy those benefits, I couldn't honestly answer, because it doesn't happen often enough. I go to school all day, try to relax all night but can't because I have to make up for things not done during the day, and then work all weekend. Sure I get a few moments to myself, but only with stuff like this on my mind,.. hardly relaxing. So I don't think they see my side of it. After school all day, I just want to come home, and relax. If I get the option to enjoy some fun with friends, I might take it, but like my parents, unless there's a specific occasion calling for it, I won't go looking for it, which is kinda stupid.. I should be trying to have as much fun as I can, while I can. Problem is, I think I'm past the time where I can. I'm at the age where that's all I should be doing, enjoying the best of both worlds, but that times has passed. Now all I do is think of school, work my ass off to get good grades to please my parents (lord knows I don't want them to see me leave another school for another program), and try to earn enough money to make it by.
It's all pretty tough, and I know they know what I have to do, but I don't know if they realize what effect it has on me. But I'll try not to be a hipocrit. I'm the same way with their lives. I don't know entirely what they do with work, what their stress level is like, all I see is the home time.
Anyways, I'm trying not to use all this as an excuse for being lazy at home, but at the present, I can't find a reason for why I am. All I know is when I get home, I just want to relax, and so I try, and it works until they get home shortly after. Then it's just orders to do this and that, we'll feed you, you'll clean it up, and then you'll do this. Sounds just like a job. I have no say in what I can or cannot do, if I refuse, there's hell to pay, and so I argue and try to get away with it, and works, but only to hurt my parents, and I want that to stop. So again, I don't know how to fix it without becoming someone who I'm not, I need help.
I've noticed that I can't tell how they think of me and my sis. They still refer to us as 'the kids' because thats how they'd still like to view us, but at the same time we're not making enough money, we're not doing enough on our own, so either way it goes, it's not what they want. If we make the effort and get things done as adults, it makes them glad on that regard, but then they lose their view of us a kids, and if we try to lay back and take it easy and enjoy life like kids, they get angry at us for not acting like adults, and so we can't win.
Of course they knew what it was like to be our age, but not at these times with these kinds of problems resting on their shoulders. The problems of the modern times where everyone is more free to do what they wish, but are still trapped in every day life.
I'm also sure my personality has a bit to do with it. I'm not always the easiest to get along with, as I gather you could figure so far, but I do try. There's nothing I hate more than making people angry, yet I'm sure I do it every day. But you can't please everyone, and I guess I probably choose to please myself over anyone else. I also know I seem pretty to myself alot of the time, I can recognize that, but I'm sure that has to do alot with that stupid Freud thing. I can't really remember what it's called, sort of a self-defence for your mind. Certain things come up, and to prevent you from becoming hurt or scared, your mind puts up these walls to prevent them from affecting you. Anyways, I'm sure I've got a few of these walls, as most probably do, and I'm sure everyone needs help to break them down.
And so I'll walk around with this emotionless look on my face, and appear to not take in anything that goes on around me. People will talk to me, I'll sit there staring blankly ahead, not looking at them.. I'll respond to show that I am listening, and depending on my mood and the topic, I'll actually get more involved. I don't know what the deal is with that, it's just how I act. I'm sure it bothers some people.. or at least I'm deluded enough to think that people actually think about me on any level while I'm not around.
There are also things I won't say often because I'm not accustomed to saying them, things as simple as "Thank You".. or even people's names for that matter. I was of course taught to say thank you, but it always felt forced because your parents told you to do it. I think that thought got stuck in my head or somethin.. I'll say thanks, but that's less formal, less accepting to someone else I'd think as a formal thank you, but it's hard for me to hear me say otherwise, I'm not sure why, it just is. I don't smile enough, and it's not that I'm not happy, because honestly, as much as this seems like alot, I'm generally a happy guy, whether I show it or not. I just think alot, and it leaves my face emotionless, which probably appears as something else to different people.
While I'm talking about personal problems, I'll try one last one. I have this huge issue with answering questions, but again, it's situation dependant. Usually I'll answer parents questions.. not always... I hate answering my sister's question, that's a whole 'nother story. People I think should be less ignorant and should know things, I wont' answer their questions. If it's a useful question and someone honestly needs help, I'll lend a helping hand, I try not to be a jerk if I can. So I've noticed this question problem, and try to get around it, I just want to push any prevalent thoughts out of the way, and help out whoever, but certain things just say no, and then I come out and say 'Screw you, figure it out on your own'.. or somethin to that effect.. probably less harsh.. I might just ignore you.. or just nod or shake my head, but that's still a problem I wish I could rectify.
I think this is all good stuff, this is like a psychiatrist who doesn't know anything about psychiatry. I can bounce things off of here, get things out in the open like you would talking to a psychiatrist. The difference being, should I get any responses, it's people's uneducated opinion, and don't get me wrong, I love advice from people, I love giving advice to people, but that's what this seems like. I already feel better for just getting this out of my head and making these things known to my concious self.
I don't think I'll go on any more though,.. I've been writing non-stop for half an hour now, need a break, need some food (which I guess I'll be cooking myself tonite since my parents don't feel like it.. because of me.).. (btw, it's not only me that's causing these problems, its a multitude of factors.. me and my sis just happen to be a large portion of those factors).. but thanks for hearing me out thus far, assuming you didn't just skip to the end to find out the answer to whatever question you want answered.. (i don't have the answer)
